Hello loyal readers! Please update your feeds and links! Early to Bed has a pretty new website, and as of TODAY, our blog will be part and parcel of that website. This WordPress blog is officially defunct! Don’t come here anymore! But you can read all the entries from this blog and all future entries at http://www.early2bed.com/blog/

Hooray for technology!

No actual pussy was harmed in this production!From our friend Jacquie.

Hi Folks,

Just wanted to let you know that our shop will be closed July 4th. We wish you all a happy, safe holiday!

xxox,
searah

Apparently, they need a dildo smashed between them so they can get a good night’s sleep. For only $55!

This video is classic. I see the next generation’s “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” or “The Clapper” here:

via Jezebel

Question: what kind of lube do pornpeople use?

Ah, now this is a good question. As we always say here at Early to Bed, when trying to learn more about sex, definitely turn to porn for your answers. It’s because they’re so realistic and have such reasonable and true-to-life depictions of sex.

I’m hoping it goes without saying that I’m joking, but you never know with the internet. So I’ll just say it – I’m joking.

Looking to porn to answer your questions about the mechanics of sex, or to get advice about lube, toys, penetration options, what most humans enjoy, etc. is a really terrible idea. Porn exists to entertain you and to get you off. That is it. The people who participate in porn are actors, and just as you don’t truly believe that Jack Black could disable a network of lasers with his cock in the Tenacious D movie, you should not believe that the lube used in porn is the lube you should be using in your bedroom.

Not to mention the fact that 90+% of “pornpeople lube” is actually just the actors spitting on each other. They spit on cocks, on pussies, on butt holes. They spit huge loogies and delicate dribbles. They just spit all the livelong day. But here’s the thing – spit is great in a pinch, when you need *just* a tiny extra bit of moisture to get you started, but it is laughable as a lube. Plus, let’s be honest. It just looks ridiculous. What are you, an old timey baseball player, spitting on your hands before you pick up your wooden bat and stride to the plate in your wool onesie? Give me a break.

The times that I have seen pornpeople use actual lubes, it has been mostly silicone. Silicone lube is great for many things, but it has its downsides as well. It is not water soluble, meaning it will not soak into your skin and get sticky. This also means it’s great for a nice shower fuck, as it won’t wash off. But it can stain sheets, it leaves a slimy residue on whatever body part was fucked (which can be wiped off with a towel, but not washed off with water) and, for anal sex, it doesn’t protect your delicate anal tissues the way a thicker, more cushiony water-based lube (like Maximus) can. It is also not to be used with silicone or cyberskin toys, as it can dissolve those materials. Nevertheless, silicone lube can be a lot of fun. It’s also a great odor-free “oil” for massages, making it easy to segue into fucking… as unlike actual oils, it is latex-compatible. Hooray for multi-tasking! Some of our favorite silicone lubes include Amorist and Pink.

But don’t neglect water-based lubes just because pornpeople do! Water-based lubes are great – they come in many varieties from lotiony to gel-like, thick and viscous to smooth and thin. Because they are made of mostly water, they will eventually absorb into your skin, but you can always keep a little spray bottle near your bed and spray it on a sticky spot to “reactivate” the lube. And some water-based lubes are longer lasting than others. Our faves are Liquid Silk (lotiony and smooth) and Sliquid H2O (remarkably similar in consistency to vaginal fluids) but there is a smorgasbord of options for you.

So there you have it. Say no to spit and yes to the amazing variety of water-based and silicone lubes at your disposal. And maybe the pornpeople will start taking advice from you.

Got a burning question you want answered? Too embarrassed to ask someone who might actually be able to help? Ask Google and maybe it’ll show up under our Search Terms so I can write a column about it!

Check out blogger Scarlet Lotus’ awesomely thorough review of Shine Louise Houston’s new movie, Champion!

She includes some sexy stills in the post, so if your place of business is iffy about nudity, you might want to wait till you get home…

All questions, pitches, and finished pieces should be sent to contribute at spreadmagazine dot org

Check out their website here.

Hot Topic: What about the children!? (200-300 words)
What about your kids in relation to the work you do? Ever worked while pregnant? Did you enter the biz to support your kids, or leave it when they were born? Please include your location (city and state) and whatever name you’d like us to print.

Consumer Report: Stripper heels (100 words per)
We’re looking for pointed, possibly humorous, product reviews of stripper footwear. Please provide one-to-two sentences per product and be specific about its usefulness, or its incompatibility, in relation to your line of work. Items should be identified by brand and style name.

Positions: Coming out (400 words)
Is coming out to friends, family, or the public worth it?

Reviews (400-600 words)
Like to review a recent piece of sex-work related culture? Please let us know. Reviews should be between 400 and 600 words, but inquire before writing to make sure we haven’t already covered your particular selection.

News Reports (500-1,000 words):
Reports should cover current sex worker-related news and events from across the globe. If possible, please include photos with your report.

Scene Report (500 words)
Where do you work? Send us a description of your local workplace (e.g., brothel, club, parlor, dungeon, or street corner) and tell us about the venue where you work and how it compares to other locales. Past scene reports covered the New York street scene in the Village and escorting in Orange County, CA. Please include both personal and more industry-wide perspectives of your region.

SEX POSITIVE
pro-SEX, pro-QUEER, pro-KINK

a free documentary film series for people who like sex
curated by Clarisse Thorn

Come out and join us at the ongoing Sex+++ Documentary Film Series!  “On the Downlow” will be screening for free at Hull-House Museum on Tuesday, June 23rd, 7PM. We’ll serve delicious snacks and brilliant conversation!  All are welcome — whether you’re a free speech advocate, an AIDS worker, a progressive pastor, a sexuality activist, a radical feminist, a sex worker, a pornographer, skeptical about our politics and aims, or just someone who likes talking about sex!  Sexy prizes awarded at every screening.  Please note that cameras are not allowed at these screenings.

RSVP to save a seat: call 312.413.5353.  Seats are unsaved at 7PM.

ABOUT THE FILM

In this artful and thought-provoking film, highly regarded experimental filmmaker Abigail Child follows four young African-American men in urban Cleveland, Ohio, who all live life “on the downlow” (the DL).  Uncomfortable with being termed gay, the men in this film straddle two seemingly-incompatible worlds.  Billy claims that the best sex of his life was with the mother of his two children, but he lives with a man.  A self-described thug, Ray prefers drag queens.  Kerwin desires not only a beautiful woman on his arm, but a man as well.  And Antonio, an ex-con who picked up the DL lifestyle while incarcerated, is dating George, whose teenage girlfriend doesn’t know that George, too, is on the DL.  Together, these men’s stories offer a rare window into both the allure and struggle of the DL lifestyle.

This screening is courtesy of the UIC Gender and Women’s Studies Department: [ http://www.uic.edu/depts/wsweb/ ]

GUEST FACILITATOR: LISA JUNKIN

The discussion for “On the Downlow” will be led by Lisa Junkin, an art educator and activist who works with diverse communities in Chicago.  She currently works as the education coordinator Jane Addams Hull-House Museum, where she manages a staff of museum educators and implements public programs for children and adults.  Lisa has also worked as a teaching artist at the Hyde Park Art Center since 2006 and has developed arts based programs on healthy relationships and anti-viol

I started to write a post about the recent HIV+ diagnosis in the porn industry… I looked up points and counterpoints of people who say condoms should be mandated and others who say porn actors know their risks when they get into the industry and should be allowed to choose their risk (which, incidentally, is incredibly low, considering that the last “outbreak” of HIV+ diagnoses was in 2004. Compare that with the consequences of risk-taking activities of, you know, the rest of us). I saw porn actors being demonized and porn actor-detractors being demonized. And unfortunately, as with every conversation I’ve ever had or seen that revolves around pornography, this conversation  has degraded into two opposing, hyper-simplified poles, the undercurrent of which was “porn is bad and evil vs. porn is good and right”.

I’m too ambivalent and irritated to have this conversation again, which, yes, is a total cop-out, but I’m interested in what you young whipper-snappers have to say.  Should condoms be mandated in hetero porn (as they currently are in gay male porn?)? Or is this too “hands-on” a role for the government to play? Should porn actors be able to choose their risk? What of their non-industry partners? Is the fact that the risk is truly so low among actors enough to ward off regulation? What of other STIs? Should, perhaps, the standard 30-days-between-HIV-tests rule be made more stringent instead? Would consumers watch porn in such quantities if condoms were universal, when there’s already a dent in sales due to the ubiquity of free online amateur porn? Can we have a nuanced discussion of pornography, like ever?

The list goes on and on. My thoughts on this are complicated, and I can see the merits of all of these arguments. Anyone have anything particularly new or enlightening to add to the discussion?

-Eden